All my fault

So this evening my brother was over. Him and my husband were sitting at our kitchen table with my toddler in her chair. I gave her this Cra Z Art softee dough (like play doh). My husband was sitting right next to her and I told him "Don't let her eat it" I said it twice. I walked out of the room to continue cooking dinner. He ignored her and was talking to my brother. I look over and there's a bite taking out of the ball of dough. I run over to double check and sure enough she chowing down. I freaked out because I didn’t know how much she had eaten exactly. So I start opening her mouth and trying to get it out. I probably overreacted but I just went into like mama bear protective mode. I was going on instinct. He’s like “what’s wrong?” And I said “she’s eating it. I told you not to let her eat it!”

Afterwards he wouldn’t talk to me. Just had this irritated look on his face. When my brother went outside for something I was able to talk to him. He told me that we should know better. That we can’t give her things like that because if we do the. We need to be staring at her the whole time. Well freaking duh!!! She’s two! He says to me that he very disappointed in the both of us for letting it happen. Wait…? How did I let it happen? He was supposed to be watching her because he was right THERE. Like unless I am OVERLY specific with my words he is like “well you didn’t say all that.” That’s just more of a mental load I don’t need.

So my brother comes over once a week to hang out with me. If he doesn’t then we’ll rarely get to see one another. After that whole situation we all sit down to watch the old 2002 Twilight Zone. Never had an issue with the show. We’ve watched it with her in the room no problem but normally my husband and her will spend the night doing a Daddy Daughter hang out instead. Spend time together. This time for some reason he didn’t take her. So we’re watching it and all of a sudden this guy catches fire. I’m like oh no! She was running around and stops right in front of the tv as I’m calling her and trying to distract her. My husband is just sitting on the couch literally looking at me and going…

I run over and grab her because there’s no way in hell I want her to see that. So I pick her up in a matter of seconds and I can tell that’s all it took. She’s like “oh noooooo” and hugging me. She’s a very empathetic child and so sweet. He takes her from me and is like “argh… come on sweetie we’ll go somewhere else.” 😒😒

I know stuff happens but come on sir. Like, wow. I was not on my A game tonight and was a crap parent I get it. Things happen. She’s not going to remember it. But now my husband is like, you guys did that and it’s on YOU. But I have to do all the thinking and mental load for both of us. If I fall short then it’s just all my fault and that’s it when things go wrong.