Ok I know the topic title sounds bad but let me explain. I miscarried twice last year and a week after my first one my sister announced she was pregnant and about a week before my second one my father in law passed away. It wasn’t a fun year. So I had been told my sister in law is expecting and don’t get me wrong I’m happy for her. It’s just I’m really jealous i know it sounds bad it’s just when we miscarried both times we had been super excited envisioning a future and it was nice I love kids. But I don’t know why when I heard this I was just trying not to cry like I am happy for her I just don’t feel I’ll ever get that chance to be a mom. Right now my partner is asleep I didn’t want to type this while he was awake making him think he did something wrong. I don’t know I just feel like my body keeps failing me. I know he’s also upset about this sometimes I just wanna hold my angels but I know I’ll never get the chance to. Thanks for listening to me venting