Is it possible to rekindle a relationship after they cheated?

Question

My ex and I have two kids. We’ve been friends for 17 years. Were together for 10. He cheated on me throughout our relationship. Anytime he said he’d change and acknowledge he was in the wrong, everything would be perfect - until he’d go back to it again. He knows his actions are the problem and says he’s working on himself. We haven’t been together for 2.5 years. But sometimes he’ll throw in the question of “where do we go from here” and I always tell him I don’t know. I’m not in love with him, but will always have love for him. I’ve always been the one to say “when we’re good we’re great” because we have always had the best times together. But I don’t think I could ever trust him again. But there will always be a part of me that wanted it to work and have our family whole. 
Is it truly possible for a cheater who’s accustomed to lying, going out every weekend, and deleting messages or muting them, to actually stop? If he is actually putting in the work to change…. Will he?

Answer

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; 
A snake can shed its skin but it’s still a snake 🐍 
Move. On.

Answer

Idk. I feel like in this situation it’s a toss up since y’all have actually been broken up for a decent chunk of time. People only truly change when they want to and theyre doing it for themselves. and that change doesn’t happen over night. 
It’s a little different, but I have an aunt and uncle who were together for like 15 years. They had 2 kids and a super dramatic relationship. Break ups, cheating, restraining orders etc. Just all around drama. They finally broke up for good in like 2003. Both got remarried, had other kids and divorced a few years later. They actually reunited and got remarried in 2018. If you didn’t know their history, you’d think they have the healthiest relationship in the world. And now they do, they put in the work separately and together with therapy and communication (time apart was also probably a big factor too) and decided to trust each other again. 
it takes 2 for the relationship to rekindle. So while your ex could put the work in and actually change into the person you want/need him to be, you also have to be willing to move past it. If you both aren’t in it 100% it’s not going to be worth it in my opinion.

Answer

and why do u wanna be with someone who “would change for a bit then go back to the same bs” like be for real w urself

Answer

My fiance cheated for the first two years in our relationship. Even after we got engaged. I found out about it every time he cheated and he swore he would never do it again. Eventually he stopped cheating. It's been almost a year since he last cheated and has really changed. He treats me very good now and I can finally trust him. So it's definitely possible for a guy to change but he has to truly want to.

Answer

If he was your best friend he wouldn't have put you through that repeatedly. If you believed he could really change you wouldn't have to ask. Give yourself the chance you deserve and move on!

Answer

I clicked possible but stressful but I also feel that it’s not possible Atleast FOR ME and I’ll explain why. 
The reason why I feel it’s possible but stressful is because 1 .. in any relationship that goes through this type of incident can for sure rekindle. 
There’s only 2 reasons why a relationship would continue after an incident like this and that is .. 1.. either taking them back just bc you’re way too deep in love and don’t care that they cheated , OR 2..it can be taking them back bc of a genuine apology and improvement like GENUINE; so you take ‘em back because you love them have love for them and want to move on and see where things go ONLY BC you’re understanding forgiving and in love and their actions been matching their word. 
ONLY 2 reasons.
But taking them back Will be stressful after getting cheating on because if you already didn’t have thoughts/issues prior to .. you’ll then probably develop trust , insecurity, abandonment issues. 
You’d be lying to yourself if you say/can be like “oh yeah I have 100% trust for so n so”  after so n so cheated. Cheating is so many feelings & expressions in one that has been broken that has to be repaired. Trust is one big factor of course. And That’s why it’ll be stressful after rekindling. 
When I said that it’s Not possible to rekindle afterwards is because at that point when my man cheats… he don’t give af about me so why should I for him after everything ? He clearly didn’t think about me and us and our love. And even if he did have that thought before cheating … he still went on to cheat meaning he didn’t give af and he let the feeling of lust with another human that isn’t me the one whom he’s in love with… just put over his and I love. He then broke all trust and love for me. Idc how much you apologize and tell me you won’t do it ever again … how do I know that ? Ok I’ll forgive you but how do I know that ? 
Because if you can sit there and tell the person that you’re in love with that you’re sorry and you won’t every do it again… then he’s fake and a liar because cheating on your person wouldn’t . have . ever . happened .  in . the . first . place. 
Do you feel me ? 
I’ll forgive him. Fine. But I’m ending the relationship. Because I. Deserve. Better. FORGET rekindling the relationship lol WHAT A JOKE! 
Thank god I never got cheated on but this is my opinion!.. (:

Answer

I found my diary from when I was a kid. My ex friend, who is a cheater, wrote: I love " name" and "name" while the rest of us only wrote : I love "name". 
In a nutshell: she cheated to two of her ex bf, and he's with another person now and I am pretty sure she'll cheat on him too.
If you don't want to be cheated on, then don't go back, but, if you want him so badly and you're so comfortable with him, maybe you can have an open relationship.

Answer

He'd have to want to change. Until he's proven he's changed, then trust is going to be a problem. Someone can change, but it takes a lot of work and self improvement to actually make things different. Unfortunately, the pattern usually continues but gets more secretive and less obvious. They go to great lengths to continue their deception and it will only get worse. But if they've changed, they will show you. You're the only one who can decide that for yourself. But the question isn't "where do WE go from here", it's "how can I show you I've changed?" And it's a question he asks internally not out loud.

Answer

You'll never trust him. Why bother?

Answer

99.9% of the time, no.

Is it possible to rekindle a relationship after they cheated?

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