I’ll try to keep this as short as possible because it’s a very long story. It’s also a very weird story. My husband has been has a six year old son with his ex.  They were both very young when they had him so they lived with her parents and her parents basically had a say so over everything. His ex was and still is very controlling, phone check daily after work and paycheck in her hand every payday, he was not allowed friends and was not allowed to speak to his mom or brothers. Fast forward, he leaves, they breakup, and she keeps the baby from him… he files for visitation and gets supervised visits at her parents house in their front room a few times out of the week. Every visit they would talk crap about him in front of the child. Eventually he stopped showing up to visit. Fast forward a few years and we meet. I explain to my husband that I refuse to date a father who isn’t in his sons life. He serves his ex for visitation, this time they are community visits with her, their son, her new man and his daughter (against the court order for her man and his daughter to be there) he still goes twice a week anyway. Two years pass, we’re married now and have a baby together… she hates me and has never met me and claims that her son will never be able to meet me or our son. She has raised the child support, and the 6 year old boy does not know that my husband is his bio dad… my issue with my husband is that, 2 years of supervised visits and your still not telling the kid that your his dad? Because your ex asked you not to? What is the point of the visits then?They visit at the park, and the kid always asks to call his “dad” , moms new man… to pick him up early. Last visit he kicked my man in the balls and told him “my mom said your just my visit I don’t want to be here anymore” it’s ruining my marriage. Nothing is progressing… so much money lost, we are married so I’m paying for it too. A kid I will never meet. Also, this kid is not allowed to be around my husbands family or anything, he’s like a secret kid that he visits weekly for an hour. He won’t stand up to her, he won’t go back to court, she sends him random receipts saying “I bought this for our son you have to send me half” and he sends it. He isn’t allowed to call the kid, he doesn’t know where he goes to school, it’s the weirdest situation in the entire world. I’m feeling defeated. I’m in California by the way, every court date the judge says “we are just going to continue the community visits” nothing is progressing :(