Just wanted to get this off my chest since I really don’t have any friends or family I want to share this with. I usually am a very private person.

Husband and I we’re about to BD when I noticed something dark on our sheets, I told him to get it off, turns out it was a corner of a condom. The same condoms we have. Mind you our sheets were brand new as I just washed and put them on the day prior, and we haven’t used a condom in over a year. We still had sex but felt very disassociated, I told him I would never do that to him, I could tell he didn’t believe me. Next couple of days are very weird. This past Saturday our home was super tense. We start fighting I’m assuming it’s because of that night. I take my son out to play space to get some energy out, while I’m there my husband and I have some text messages, we talked about how he felt and that he does believe me… etc. told me he felt much better that we talked it out and would like to do something as a family. Take my son to a candy shop and then go out to a restaurant, here’s where things took a turn. My husband didn’t touch his food, was glaring at me and started arguing with me, telling me about that night and started raising his voice at me. I kept my cool, and he said he would wait in the car for us, he almost implied as if he wanted to drive off without us asking “are you coming to the car after or not?” Okay I bagged up and paid, went to the car, sat in the backseat. He starts driving erratically. My son next to me whispers “I think we’re gonna crash” clearly he was feeling unsafe, I repeat it to make sure I heard what I heard and my husband and I start arguing again. At this point we’re at each others necks. I get inside, my husband takes my keys and says he’s leaving. At this point, I tried to keep my cool this whole time, but hit my breaking point. We have a smart lock and really don’t carry house keys, so I lock all the doors and essentially lock him out, he tries to come back in and starts yelling at the doorbell, I tell him I’m not letting him in, he can leave like how he planned to, he goes to the backyard screaming he’s gonna break the door/windows until he can get in.. etc, I end up calling the cops once he starts throwing things at the windows and doors. My son is upstairs in his room but I felt very unsafe. He ends up leaving, cops come, talk to me and I explain what happened (minus the cheating allegation) and that I called because I was starting to get scared. Anyways, my husband calls/texts me blaming me for the entire thing and said I embarrassed him because the neighbors texted him and asked if everything was okay. Also stating that he wasn’t going to hurt me if I let him in and why would I want to get him in trouble with the cops, he doesn’t come home til around 1 am. We have a two story so currently I am living upstairs and separately from him and we are not talking. We’re still working our jobs and I messaged him this on Sunday. I did not cheat on him, I work from home but do not have the time or bandwidth to even do that emotionally or anything. I don’t know what happened or how that even thing came on our sheets? I’m starting to reconsider everything and think we may have to move on and actually separate but I feel I have done nothing wrong or did anything to deserve this. I have lost some weight recently.. maybe that could be a factor? I did it to try to get pregnant as I was obese and having a hard time conceiving. Anyways, just had to write it out and get some opinions. My son is 6 and I can tell as much as I try to keep him occupied, watch movies, play his favorite games, I know he feels the tension at home and I never wanted that for him.

Please no criticism, and I would appreciate it if this remained a judgement free zone.