Advice??

I have what I would say a normal to low sex drive. This past year I really started to figure myself out and found that I really just dislike penetration of any kind no matter the size, shapes, lube, etc…..I haven’t told my boyfriend this and he’s good enough at multitasking that well, you get it I think… but I haven’t shared this with him and feel terrible for it (that’s besides the point tho). Any advice to help with it or am I doing something wrong?? I really want to enjoy sex more and just find it frustrating. Thank you in advance.