How do we explain our child's gender identity to famiy

I have posted on here about finding out that my 17 year old is intersex. We didn't know. We took them to the doctor for abdominal pain and in the process found out they had reproductive organs of the other sex. It's been hard for us but our child is actually happy ... They've struggled for years with depression and I suppose always felt different. They are starting to dress as the gender that they weren't assigned with at birth and goes by they/them pronouns. As you guys know this has been hard for me and my husband. Everything we knew about our child changed overnight and my husband did hurt there feelings because he just wants our old child back and tried to ask and convinced them to get the parts/reproductive organs removed. That hurt them but he's since apologized. No other family knows and I feel like they want to tell my parents but my parents won't understand. They will be horrible about it I know. We see them for mother's day and idk what to tell them because of how my child dresses now is completely different and they have different pronouns. I know my child wants to scream it to the top of the world who they are. About being intersex. About their pronouns but I don't think it's the right term.