Unwanted pregnancy

I have 4 kids. My youngest, I just had 8 months ago & the last thing I wanted or thought would happen was this. All my kids have been planned & wanted. After 4, we were content and done. I was looking into getting my tubes removed & wish I had just done it. I definitely will now asap after this pregnancy. Anyone who’s had to accept an unwanted pregnancy, please tell me I’m not alone & any advice for this depression & sadness. I’m against abortion & feeling so guilty how it’s been temping & thoughts like hoping for a miscarriage. I know this is a blessing, but it feels like a curse. I never wanted to be pregnant again. pregnancy is very hard on my body & I always have all day nausea for weeks on end & last time it lasted the whole pregnancy. I’m almost 37 too.

5 kids just doesn’t make sense for me & I can’t believe this happened. We were being so careful.

I’ve cried so much about this & how hard things will continue to be after the baby is here. I’m in my feelings right now & just extremely unhappy & sad about this. My poor body & I don’t know how this will affect my mental health. I feel terrible too cause it’s not the baby’s fault & I don’t want them knowing how unhappy I am about this. This just sucks. I was so happy that my youngest was my last pregnancy & now here I am.