I was a fun, happy go lucky kid and 4 years ago at 23 I dated someone that emotionally abused me so bad I think it’s changed my brain chemistry.

I’ve made a lot of strides in repairing my self worth but I can only seem to be my authentic self when I’m alone, once another person enters the room it’s like I put on a persona that pleases them and can’t break out of it. i ignore my own needs, developed a nervous stutter, my sentences come out strange and jumbled because I’m having so many thoughts at once that I want to get out . It feels like as soon as someone else is in the room i shrivel up into a tiny insecure unsure version of myself focused only on the other person and their needs/ emotions or at least what I perceive them to want from me and I become that.

When I’m aware and smart af but there’s a wall that won’t allow me to actually be comfortable enough to show it :(

I think It’s a rejection response and I am afraid to show people me bc any time I have, I’ve been made to feel I shouldn’t be this way. It’s starting to ruin my life as I want to make more deeper meaningful connections with people any advice is welcome.

TLDR: after an abusive relationship my body came to the conclusion that other people are not safe and will not allow me to be authentic around them. What do I do?