I wish my husband loved me.

Anon

That’s really it. He says “I love you” but his actions are so far off that it’s hard to believe him. He used to be nice to me, no it seems he just tolerates me and that’s barely. He vowed “in sickness and in health”. I’ve always been very healthy, not one issue. Took care of him when he was sick. My health has changed between last year and this year. Very slight and almost no symptoms with corrective medication. However, when I am symptomatic he is ANNOYED. Not quietly annoyed but verbally and outwardly. Our sex life is also low. It is hard to have sex with someone who I feel doesn’t even love me. He can’t stay hard and when I give him oral it takes him forever to climax (40-50 min) then he tells me it’s because I’m just bad at it. Meanwhile, I almost ever orgasm we we have sex. I dry out to the point that it HURTS! Because emotionally I’m not there. Sometimes I mentally check out just to get through it because she says as his wife, I’m supposed to. We are still young. He’s 30 and I’m 28. But I’ve come to the conclusion that we will not be having children together. Unfortunately I fell for the lies that he wanted kids, married him, and then came to realize he really doesn’t want kids any time soon (maybe 6 years from now). I put my education on hold for him. I have a masters but if we’re up to me, I would have graduated with my PhD last year. He works a minimum wage job by choice, though he also has a masters. Anyway I’ll k ranting. Just wish my husband loved me like he says he does.