long post, i apologize. i recently started seeing another man about 7 months ago. after about 3-4 months of seeing each other, we became more official. throughout those first few months, he was aware that i have a 6 year old child that i gave birth to when i was 17. i am very selective and careful with who i date as i want to ensure that the other person is comfortable with me having a child and that i pick the right people to be around my child although i obviously don’t bring new people around her off the bat. he has seen pictures of her before and he has always mentioned how adorable she is and that he would love to meet her. i have, on multiple occasions, asked him if he was comfortable with me having a child or me being a single mother at a young age, and he has told me MULTIPLE times that he is 100% okay with it. it was not until recently that i invited him over to my apartment for a movie night while my daughter was away with her grandmother. towards the end of the movie, my daughter was dropped off by her grandmother and she got to meet him. he did not really interact with her or have a conversation with her. obviously since she is a child, she wanted to show him some of the toys that she had in her bin in the living room, but he sort of brushed it off. this is just one time, the other times he has been around my child, he has slightly ignored her as well. i’m not one to make assumptions, but my child is mixed (the baby daddy is black and i am korean) and i am not sure if he is holding a bias against her because she is black? i think this because one day i got my daughters hair done in braids and he said she would have looked better with straight hair…after that i told him i needed some time to myself to focus on my job and my daughter more. i haven’t seen him in a week and a half and we occasionally text but not like we used to. i’m not sure if i want to continue this and try to find an understanding of why he’s treating my daughter this way or if i just need to let it go. i feel like it would cause too much drama to find the reason why but on the other hand i really do like the way he treats me and the thing that we have but i am so turned off by how reactive he is towards my daughter when i’ve made it clear to him i have one AND have shown her pictures of her before meeting her so he knew she was black. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

edit: he is mixed too—black and dominican, so i’m not sure where the behavior is coming from towards my daughter being mixed if that’s the case.

UPDATE: on the 1st note: kind of disgusted by people saying i am choosing him over my child. where did i say that i was doing that? i was asking for advice on if i should see what his reasonings are, not if i should marry and settle down with him. trust me, i have dated plenty of men over the course of my daughter’s life and many of them i have had to cut off contact with because my daughter is more a priority to me than me being romantically happy.

on the 2nd note: i asked him, and it was a race thing. not sure why people were saying it wasn’t when he literally preferred my daughter to have straight hair over natural/braids. he said he feels uncomfortable with me having a black child as a korean woman because he feels like black and asians cannot get along because “blacks are too rambunctious and asians are too formal” whatever tf that means.

overall, disappointed. obviously i am not going to continue talking to him. where are the genuine men at 😩

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