I am the breadwinner which means dad spends more time with the kids than me. But he doesn’t have the patience that I have and we come from different cultures where parenting looks different.

When they don’t listen he threatens right away. He doesn’t understand child psychology enough to parent positively. When they wake up at night wanting to sleep with him not alone he gets angry. He is imo overly controlling about the smallest things and gets mad over normal toddler behavior. He will grab them if again and again they don’t listen.

I understand everyone’s different and being tired can lead to an immediate tipping point and he is great with them when it’s play time. but at times I feel like the kids are going to be emotionally scarrred or traumatized.

How much anger and strictness won’t lead to trauma ? Our kids are 5 and 3 plus a newborn. We disagree often about how to parent and ofc I feel im right. Thats why the kids are so much easier with me because I give them more independence and choice

Am I overreacting?