My dad called me an idiot

I've been struggling lately. My whole family has. Me and my husband's marriage is on the rocks right now. His relationship with our kids has gotten so much worse. He used to just have a bad relationship with our daughters and decent one with our sons. Our youngest son is still a toddler. Our 15 year old son is where problems started. My husband has very misogynistic views. He is always saying boys will be boys. He let our son cheat on his girlfriend in our home! He allowed him to have sex with his girlfriend and then bring another girl in our home to have sex with because boys will be boys. Our son gets kicked out of school dance for experimenting with drugs. Boys will be boys. Our daughter has male friends. He calls her a whore. Our son has an almost overdose and his best friend and his best friends brother have to get him and give him a narcan, boys being boys. Our son sneaks off to a crack house and we have to get him.... Well now it's past boys will be boys and it's my fault for letting our son get addicted to drugs. That happened on mother's day. Since the crack house incident my husband has been MORE shitty that usually. We asked our son why he's doing this and he said he doesn't like his life and hates himself and that made my husband angry and call him ungrateful. I know people will say divorce him. I don't believe in divorce so I've been trying to hold things together. My husband had been snapping on all of lately. Yelled at my daughter for her skirt being too short and told her don't come crying to him when a man grabs her vagina. That made me so angry that I took scissors and cut the cord to his Xbox and he lost it on me. I decided to take my son to this women's rights meeting at the library. To help him unlearn any misogyny his dad may have taught him. He wasn't paying all that much attention and I found more drugs in his pockets. IDK how he's getting them. He's not allowed to leave the house without us. I went to talk to my dad about everything and how stressed out I am but my dad showed no sympathy m he said he told me not to marry my husband anyway and I didn't listen and settled. He said we are both ruining our kids by being stupid and said to me "My grandchild is on drugs and what you decide to do is take him to the library to listen to women talk about world problems. What was that supposed to help?" I told him I'm just trying to get him away from his father's b.s and misogyny and my dad said "Listen you're not gonna like what I'm about to say. I'm not a sexist. But misogyny is down here. Drug addiction is up here. You start up and work your way down but you're all over the place because you and his dad are fucking idiots." I told him our insurance doesn't cover rehab and my dad said that's a me problem and I need to be trying to figure something out and send him to NA(narcotics anonymous) or something. I said I'm doing my best and he said he hates when people say that because they don't know what best is. He said to me "Your best would be not marrying that man. You did that. So your best would be leaving him. You're not doing that so your best would be getting your child help for his addiction. You're not doing that. Nothing you're doing is your best. You're being stupid on purpose. My grandson is on a ticket to his own grave because you and his dad are stupid" He told me if I want our kids can come live with him until me and my husband learn how to parent. He has never been that harsh with me before. It really upset me. I just went home back to my falling apart household. Then the day got worse because my son is being extremely irritable and horrible. He was cussing at his sister and I told him to go to his room. He told me fuck you. His dad told him to be quiet and he told my husband oh fuck you too. My husband said to me I'm gonna kill him." and chased him up the stairs and I grabbed my husband. Now I found out today my daughter is self harming. I'm so done.