My baby was born early at 34 weeks 3 days 2.45 kgs. He is fine has a little jaundice. I am so emotional his birth has traumatized me because I was not ready to have a premature baby. And always thought I have weeks to prepare for him. I went into preterm labour and had to have pain augmented so I can have the baby as I was 2 cm dialated. I laboured for 9 plus hrs but had to have emergency c section as baby's heart beat kept dropping. It is not the birth that I wished or even imagined ever. They sedated me immediately after my son was delivered and I didn't get to see or hold him. I can't even imagine what my husband went through. I can't help but cry each time I recall what happened. I am happy that I had my son but not the way his birth happened. I am crying as I type this. What should I do? I am fine mostly but these emotions just keep hitting me unexpectedly. How do I get over this? I feel like a failure.