2 years ago I decided to put the alcohol down . I was 256lbs I lost 106lbs on my own , of course it fluctuates. BUT when I decided to break this generational curse . Its like I was stripped of everything. ! Friends aren’t friends anymore. Im probably so logic it irritates people but I prefer to live in truth. I’ve lost several friends over the course if this journey. And im not going to lie it hurts :( real bad . I feel like rejuvenated but fucked up at the same time. I go through a ton of emotions everyday & sometimes i just need someone who understands just a tad bit . Its like Everyone is in a sunken place . My mother whos still battling with addiction is still and yet my biggest supporter. But she’s mom so you kinda just expect that. The better I do the more quiet it gets lonely it gets . I literally have no social life because i just like things that make sense. I truly can’t stand toxicity. And anyone who wants to keep living in a lie ig they can find their way because i sure is hell did. I’ve even had people tell me they don’t like the new me . Im too serious ok whos like 30 plus and not serious. Am I supposed to think this life shit is a game because it’s not I almost lost my life several times from open heart surgery as a kid just living a rough life in the hood and I made it pass 25 what’s there not to be serious about. My child has special needs . Daughter dad treats this like a job he can clock in and out to . I basically been on my own the day I found out I was pregnant and it’s rough. I just feel very alone . I always write post on here nobody seems to respond. Makes it worse . But I anonymously post because I don’t want to receive negative backlash here either . What im basically saying is where do I go from here I feel stuck unmotivated sad lonely misunderstood judged . I cant and dont trust anyone it’s been rough all I can say positive is i really placed my mind on being a better woman and mom for the sake of my daughter. Im just extremely lonely and it’s taken a toll on my mental.