Do you ever feel... done??

I got married to my first "serious" bf after only dating for 8months. We have 3 kids together and married 10years. I got pregnant the same month we got married.

Idk what's up, but I feel... lost? Like there is more out there for me to explore and learn? A lot of things I didn't get to do. I want a break from my kids, I want adult friends who hangout.. not just game out, brag about their kids accomplishments all the time...etc. Sometimes I feel like I want a more affectionate husband, someone who without asking brings me home flowers, or a drink/ chocolate bar from the store. Someone who runs me a bath and surprises me with bath bombs and candles. Someone who pays more attention to me just once, even for one day and I'd be blown away.

Married 10 years and all he's ever got me for our anniversary was a pastel picture... as a rush gift, that he randomly found for sale, same day as our anniversary because he said he was worried I got him something which I do, every year... it's a bunch of gifts he's hinted about throughout the year... every year, I also plan and bake cupcakes, special family supper and a small gift for our 3 kids. I also help our kids make him a happy anniversary card (if they want). Every year we fight because it's the same: him jokingly saying "oh I thought we weren't doing gifts"

I was 7 days late this period then when I finally got it the cramps/ pain and flow are freaking insane and I told him that, all I got was laughed at because I'm "grumpy and moody" but I was still first one up getting 3 kids ready for school, lunches packed, making sure his work shirts were cleaned and getting myself ready for work if I get called in (I'm a substitute teacher) so he can wake up, get himself ready then leave.

Today, again I was up early doing the morning routine, he stayed up late playing video games (don't get me started on that) so he was asleep. We did argue, he than whispered something in our oldest son's ears and then my son asked me why I was in a bad mood and sorry if I was mad at him (a lot of reassurance I wasn't... he also has autism so his emotions are huge.. if that makes sense) then I told my husband if he can stop because he's making our kids scared of me and my husband laughed and said "nope your doing that all on your own" then left for work. so that was early this morning. He still hasn't talked to me.. he's currently downstairs playing video games... I got all our kids to bed, fed..etc. I haven't eaten all freaking day.. he came home made himself supper and went downstairs.

I want to leave his ass so bad. But I'm only a sub for the school and not like I can afford to rent anywhere myself. I'm in the boonies so jobs here are very far and in between.