Should I or should I not?

I had a guy friend that I no longer talk to but lately I have been feeling to get back in contact with him , not because I want to be friends again but because I am realizing that I actually did truly care for him and my journey with God has taught me humility and trusting in him.

So let me give you a back story to basically mine and that friend’s story.

We were friends for a while, always texting, sometimes taking walks and sometimes just hanging out. When we were bored basically we were always there for each other. He we used to be text buddies and then worked our way up to being in person buddies, or relationship became estranged the summer before last when he pushed me in my head and my head swung back . He claimed it was painful but for me it genuinely didn’t feel right so I was upset for a while but he made it up to me.

It became later estranged when he found out about me dating this other guy. I didn’t really want to talk to him about it , I didn’t think it was that important to either but I had told my girl besties. Anyway when he found out he started questioning me about it and that first night he rambled on about it for quite a while. The guy I started dating was outside of my culture, so he kept telling me things like this guy is not for you, guys from that culture are dogs, they only want one thing or whatever. Then he kept talking about the timeframe I knew the guy in as well and spoke about it not being enough time to get to know that guy. He did a lot of rambling even after that day as well. He kept telling me that I didn’t wait for him to figure out his feelings for me or whatever. So later after that summer I had stopped texting my friend as often because of the way he would behave and suddenly bring up my then boyfriend.

He kept telling me that he wasn’t jealous, just that he was hurt I told my girlfriends and not him . I believed him at rhe time but he kept telling me he needed to figure out his feelings about me. When he did figure it out he told me he loved me and he didn’t say it in a non romantic way. But he said it was ok that I didn’t feel the same way back. I told him we couldn’t talk anymore because that’s disrespectful to my bf . Later down the road he took it back and said he mistook his feelings and he kept going back and forth with that. My bf told me to stop talking to him but I didn’t. I continued and then my fried and I got to a decent place where he wasn’t bringing up my boyfriend anymore but occasionally he still would . But one day I had asked my bf what I could do to make him trust me more and he said stop talking to this friend and after I did.

But then I was telling that friend that we couldn’t talk anymore and he was upset and kept telling what is he supposed to do and that he didn’t have people to talk to in that way. At that time his mom was diagnosed with cancer . I told him it couldn’t be me who he spoke to. Worse I wasn’t really there for him and my attention was on my boyfriend.

I felt really bad though afterwards but my boyfriend asked why it had to be me that he had to talk to and by then I made the conscious decision to stop talking him.

Anyways my bf and I didn’t last he cheated by texting girls on his phone.

Then I was heartbroken because I compromised so much with him and did a lot of things I rather I hadn’t been doing.

I got over it and got to know my God. And I learnt about humility and self control and stuff like that.

I want to apologize to my old friend for not being there when he needed me during a hard time considering that I knew him for years before my bf . I stopped talking to him for about 6 months now. And I broke up with my boyfriend 4 months ago.

Should I go back and talk to that friend and apologize or should I let it go as a loss?