I need advice.

I don’t know how to exactly start this off. I’m 20 F and I live with my mom and my step dad. I’m a virgin. I’ve never been on a date. Never kissed a guy because My mom is very strict and overprotective and refuses to let me go on a date without a chaperone. 1 month ago I started talking to this guy. Everything was great. He was kind and funny. We had made plans to meet up because he had bought me a present. Given that my mom is overprotective and such, I told him I’d meet him outside. Well my house has a camera that faces the front door. So I had to pretend I was going on a walk. When he arrived, we hugged and everything was great. Then he wanted me to sit in his car, I was hesitant but I gave in and we sat in his car. I was very nervous but we started talking and I eventually calmed down. Well he started to stroke my hair and my face. I then noticed he had an erection and he noticed that I was glancing at it. He asked me if I wanted to touch it and I said “I’m not sure, I’ve never felt an erect penis before” he then grabbed my hand and placed it on his erection. He then took his penis out and grabbed my hand placed it on his penis, he moved my hand up and down. I wanted to stop. I wanted to get out of the car but I essentially went along with it and hoped it wouldn’t go any further, well it did. He asked if I wanted to “taste” him and I told him I wasn’t sure, I’d never done this before. It didn’t feel right. Well he grabbed my head and pushed me towards his penis, I licked it and pulled back, I wiped my mouth and wanted to desperately to get the taste of him out of my mouth. I wanted to leave, I wanted to take back what I had just done. I’m a Christian and I feel the burning shame and guilt for what I have done. He then kissed me, amongst other things. I’m still a virgin but….I can no longer proudly say I’ve never done anything. I wish I could take it back. I’m still trying to get the taste of him out of my mouth. I’m asking myself “why didn’t I just say no? Why didn’t I put my foot down?” I regret my experience but I don’t want to paint this as sexual assault.

I’m basically asking for advice on how to tell my mom about what happened. I feel gross, dirty. I can’t hold this in anymore. I’m worried she’ll hate me or kick me out. Since it happened, I feel sick to my stomach, my guilty conscience is weighing on me. Thank you in advance. I’m sorry if I have left out details that are possibly important.