How to ask my dad not to speak at my school?

Question

I'm a senior and next week they're doing an assembly on addiction and my dad told me he was gonna be a guest speaker. Nobody knows anything about my dad. They don't know anything about my real parents. Me and my dad have a 15 year age gap and me and my biological mother have a 23 year age gap so you can do the math on that. I was born in prison and my dad's sister adopted me and she's the only mom I've known. I've always known who my dad was and stuff but he was on drugs for years. He was also a male prostitute and I remember being 9 and my mom(adoptive mom) yelling at my dad because she was sure he bought my birthday present with drug and or prostitution money. My mom never wanted me to grow up hating my dad and told me he loves me so much and it's why he let her adopt me because he didn't have the resources to help a single dad at 15 and was struggling with addiction. He's been sober for 7 years now and we have a decent relationship. We see and talk to each other regularly. My dad isn't a bad guy but I haven't told anyone about him and I don't want him speaking at my school. I don't know everything he's gonna say. I don't know if people will piece together that he's my father but I don't want to be known as the girl with the drug addict/child prostitute/male prostitute father. I know that I graduate in May and none of this will matter but my senior year is important to me and I don't want it tainted.

Answer

You’re young so I understand why you’re overthinking this, but I promise this isn’t as bad as it may seem. Nobody is going to piece together he’s your father unless you guys have the same last name or one of you tells the other students. But even then, I don’t see an issue. When I was in high school, I was friends with a girl whose dad was a recovering drug addict. Nobody ever teased her for it or even cared. In fact, she worked for a local anti-meth advocacy group and ended up doing TED Talks because of her story. Maybe your dad’s story will help someone, you never know.

Answer

Maybe you can talk with him about your concerns? I think that's your best approach. ￼You may be able to ask him not to speak, but you can't guarantee that he will listen to you. ￼You can't control what he wants to do. But he may be open to respecting your privacy by not disclosing certain information at the talk. ￼

Answer

Coming from someone who had a dad with an alcoholic addiction. Speak to your dad and just mention if he would respect your privacy so therefore not disclose his last name nor your relationship. I would honestly be proud that he is speaking out to others to hopefully prevent any addiction. I lost my dad at 12 because he just couldn’t stop. Just speak up about wanting certain things private.

Answer

If no one knows he’s related to you I don’t see how this will get back to you. If he feels compelled to speak even though you don’t want him to I would ask that he keep it vague.

Answer

I’d probably talk to the office at school or my guidance counselor about the situation and see if he could be cancelled. Then I’d talk to him and say if he doesn’t want to not do it that’s his decision that you wanted to give him a chance to understand but you already talked to school and they will cancel him speaking since you aren’t comfortable.

Answer

Ask him if he could talk about it in another school or next year because you're not emotionally ready to go through all that he has to tell.

How to ask my dad not to speak at my school?

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