It’s been so long since I’ve been here, sitting at my kitchen counter, crying, grieving for the babies I never got to have here. It’s been so long since I let myself be sad. Last thanksgiving I had my first miscarriage. A little over two months ago, I had my second. I’m listening to the Hamilton soundtrack and letting myself pour everything out. “Life doesn’t discriminate , between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes. And we keep living anyway”