Dear mom,

I’m so tired of the same thing. I’m so tired of being treated like something stuck to the bottom of a shoe. I’m tired of having to listen to you over and over and over again when you never listen to me. I’m tired of putting effort into active listening and giving you heartfelt feedback when it’s not reciprocated. Because you don’t have any empathy.

I’m tired of being judged negatively for every decision I ever make on my own. I’m tired of being manipulated, guilted, and gaslit throughout my entire existence. I’m just tired of you and I’m emotionally spent and I’m trying so hard not to hate you for all you’ve done to me. It hurts so bad because I feel like you’ve literally intended to bring me down. To make me ugly. To make me me fail. You are truly a narcissist and hearing your voice generates a trauma response for me. You don’t want anyone else to succeed unless it serves you and you can brag about it to make yourself look better. You literally don’t know who I am or the first thing about me or what I actually like. You don’t know what’s going on with my life either. Your sons are your pride and joy and that’s just so wonderful for you. Hope that works out for you when one of them barely even speaks to you. You have SO many friends, are SO well liked and were SO successful in your career so it strikes me as odd that you always seem so unhappy and can’t figure out how to regulate your own emotions. Do what you want— Just leave me out of your mind games because I won’t be playing along any time soon.

K