I'm in a weird situation with a sibling. Sibling has only none verbal autistic children. Sibling also is a single parent and extremely jealous. They won't speak to me or my spouse and it causes weird tension at family gatherings.

My spouse and I have multiple children of different ages who are for the most part "typical." This has made it difficult with my sibling being jealous as now they are jealous of my kids marriage and basic life.

We have a large family and we gather frequently. Recently the issue is that of my siblings children I have to watch my kids and them at gatherings for safety reasons. If my kids have toys the other kids will bite or take them away. My kids are very good about using their words and trying to be kind to the cousins but they are so frustrated. My kids are constantly being told to give up whatever it is they are doing or have. It's breaking my heart because my kids are being treated like they don't get a say because it keeps the other kids from having melt downs or harming my kids.

My spouse and I are super helpful bouncing between all the kids and bring plenty to keep everyone engaged. My siblings kids just want what ever is in my kid's hands at any point. We make sure not to bring favorite toys or things that will cause conflicts like specific soothing stuffed animals or favorite trucks but it is inevitable my kids are miserable.

I try telling family not to yell at my kids or my kids have had enough of their stuff being taken away they are frustrated too. But it seems to be falling on deaf ears. As these gatherings continue and this sibling comes it is their only form of support right now as a single parent. But their jealousy and disrespect to my family is getting really hard. My background is in special education and so do have a understanding of the situation. My husband and myself want to be of any help.

At this point I'm super defensive of my kids and my family and I'm not sure how to navigate because the sibling won't speak to me say hello good bye or anything. I'm tired of my kids being yelled at to give up whatever is in their hands when they are playing because someone else wants it. I'm tired of my kids feeling like they don't matter because they are typical.

My spouse loves my family but now at this point wants nothing to do with my selfish sibling. It has been years of jealousy and it's old and disrespectful at this point. I don't know how to navigate this anymore without it being an issue. If my spouse hears my kids being yelled at or shorted anymore there will be an issue. My kids are young so they don't quite yet grasp their cousins need special help and talking doesn't work with them.

Looking for advice to help the kids and defuse the adults.