Back story on me. I have the BRCA1 and NF1 genetic mutations. These put me at a high risk for cancers. Specifically breast cancer. I’m 2021 I had a preventative mastectomy. I had to have an additional 5 surgeries due to infection, reconstruction, revisions, etc. It was hard but I got through it. I’m proud of my sacrifice so I may be a mom for longer, a wife, a daughter. I still struggle with my self image. I struggle with feeling numb in that area. All I get told is I’m lucky I didn’t have cancer.

Now come to the present. I’m trying to have baby number two after struggling with my fertility for a year now. I’m about to start clomid. I’m very excited and hopeful. I want to share the news with my family but so far I have not gotten very supportive remarks. I’ve been told that I havnt truly struggled since it has been only a year of trying. I need to be grateful for the one and maybe I should just be done.

They don’t know that to do these life saving surgeries I put growing my family on hold. I watched friends family and strangers get pregnant and have MULTIPLE babies during the last few years as I tore my body apart. I feel like everything that makes me special as a women is gone, but I’m not even aloud to use terms like warrior because I didn’t truly go through these things. I just have to suffer silently and count my blessings that it’s bad but not worse.