My husband and I have been together for 14 years and are very happy together. By now we’ve figured out how to communicate with each other and to work together on relationship issues/frustrations. I think that’s why this little thing is bothering me so much? We have an 18m old and I’m currently pregnant with our 2nd. We have also recently acquired our first home (we lived in apartments/with family). My husband works a 7-5 at home job that allows him to often times give me a hand with our toddler since I’ve taken on the SAHM role. Most of the house chores fall onto me and my husband manages the outside. We also split our nights since we currently cosleep, Sunday-Wednesday my husband takes our son to bed and I get the evening to myself and then Thursday-Saturday my husband gets those nights since he’s off work those nights.

Now since getting our own place, every night I do a basic clean the kitchen (dishes, wipes counter tops, throw away trash), pick up the living room, and vacuum (mostly just the kitchen and living room area). Some nights I’ll mop the floors, organize the playroom blah blah but not every night. So when my husband gets the evening I’ve asked him to also do those “basics” it keeps the house somewhat clean and it’s nice to not have to deal with the start of the day in disaster which since being pregnant has helped loads.

But the kicker is, my husband won’t do it. He complains that his “relaxing time” is being taken by chores which I understand but in all it shouldn’t take more then 30 minutes to do those things. But we’ve discussed it, how it bothers me that it’s something I do to maintain our home and he can’t do the same even though he lives here too. He told me he’d work on doing it since now he understands it’s a priority for me. So tonight I go down with the toddler and told him not to worry about picking up, that I’d do it in the morning since he was going to get to game with some friends. All I asked was to rinse out the milk bottles cause the smell makes me 🤢 and throw the dishes in the sink.

I got up at 1am to pee and eat something and it wasn’t done, he even left his leftover snacks out. I feel like I’m asking for too much but at the same time is it really too much? We’re adults, we have a child, soon to be 2 and he’s complaining about doing simple chores or he’s expecting me to take care of it all which I’ve offered to do every night if he at least puts our son down and then I’ll switch him. But he’s said no. And yet here we are.

This was long and winded so I’m sorry 😩 but am I the asshole for wanting to bring this up again? Should I accept that since being the SAHM the responsibility should always be mine and to allow him the time to rest as he wants without the burden of chores?