So to preface, I have an episodic disability that mainly manifests in non-damaging pain. Doing things in generally wont damage me, but i might hurt. Thats just twhat happens with me being alive in general and uts been mostly that way since i was 13 except a few years i was in remission.

My ex (who was my only relationship) thought it was icky to have sex when im in pain. Which is rare that im not in some amount of pain. So basically once my condition came out of remission it became a "I cant wait anymore ill just stick it in you" with little to no foreplay like before my condition worsened (and I could for sure still do stuff its not like I was griping all the time). And i was so hungry for sex its i didnt care. I just wanted something ANYTHING.

Which is weird because he always wanted to dip the toe into bdsm, which i was fine with.

Anyway I started wondering (as a newly single person) with the amount of immense pleasure tiger balm gets me with the relief of pain why can't that have been part of foreplay. I mean plenty of sex plays with temperature like using candle wax and ice cubes.

I dont get it. Was my ex weird or are most people going to be icked out by my chronic pain and just shut down any workarounds or ways to help me feel fully included in my sexual experiences?