So I come from a pretty abusive childhood where it wasn't allowed to talk about issues outside the home. I understand how toxic that can be to keep "secrets".

I'm married now and we are definitely in it for the long haul. Part of me still has this idea you don't ever talk bad about your spouse. Also that marriages shouldn't be talked about outside of the home. My husband however sees it differently. He has never not once complains about me. He will however involve others into our issues when he's made mistakes. He has sent out text messages to people to explain he's been a bad husband or father to check in on me. He has even sat his own parents down at one point and basically laid on the table about what he has done when it came to drinking.

He has had issues with alcohol and just putting family first such as working too much or being selfish with his time. To me these are our issues and I don't like to air our dirty laundry. It also puts me in bad situations with my family as when he does this they don't know how worried they need to be about me and I'm a private person. I'm then feeling like I'm putting out emotional fires for other people when I'm just trying to navigate the situations I am in.

My husband is a good man and I also don't want others to see him as anything other than that. This isn't a case of him talking about me to others this is him reaching out to my closest people to talk about his faults. I really am tired and I have tried to get him to stop. This last time my family got so concerned they were around the clock showing up at my home and calling. Again my husband isn't a bad person not in the least and it really was too much for me to deal with everyone all at once.

Every time he tells me he won't do it been then he does it again. This last time I was sick and I had no energy to deal with my husband and how sorry he was and really had no intention of telling people what was going on. I'm at a loss what to do as he's a good man and publicly I'm not trying to shame him ever. It just feels like a violation of my wants too. What do I do about this. It's also causing issues because once I forgive him I'm in a new place mentally and all these people keep asking about instances and issues and it's stiring up emotions for me I am trying to move on from.