Not sure which way to go

Wellll here goes...My fiancé and I have been on and off ttc for the last 5 years. I was really adamant about it in the first couple of years and got really down and depressed every test ended up being a negative result.

For a while I was "okay" not having our own child. And honestly I'm not okay with being okay with it. Some nights I cry because of the pain I've endured losing my 2 previous pregnancies (this was before we got together) All I ever wanted was to be a Mom. To have that bond that so many women take for granted.

I want to try, I also don't want to stress myself out with ovulation testing, fertility drugs, having sex every day and stressing him out on top of it all. I don't want to constantly take pregnancy tests to be sickened with depression when I keep getting the negative results.

Does anyone have any uplifting advice? Tips or tricks? Anything is welcome at this point.

TIA