Hubby thinks we’re too old (40) Risk of special needs higher?

Timeline: boy born 2016, boy born 2020, IUD placed 2020,

SURPRISE pregnancy 2023. PANIC about the IUD still in. DR couldn’t remove it & we lost baby at 10 weeks 9/29/23. 😞 Passed out from the blood loss in the ambulance. Then 4 days later DR had to numb cervix to have a procedure for IUD removal SO PAINFUL!!

Husband was done at 2 kids so I got an IUD and agreed with him, even though I always wanted more than 2. So excited to be pregnant with the 3rd only to have my hopes crushed so now I want another obviously.

He heard me out this week. He says he doesn’t have it in him and I said well I do and I’m the one that does the majority of the work with the kids (I do 90% & he knows it). He says we will both be 40 this year and we’re “too old” and I said it would only be 4 years behind our youngest so it’s not that far off. He says there are more risks since I’m older and now I’ve had a miscarriage and I said that I 100% believe I would still be pregnant if it wasn’t for the IUD and I had 2 healthy pregnancies so I don’t think any midwife or doctor would be concerned. An of course he’s worried about the financial aspect of 3 kids, as most men are. He was also worried about when we went from 1 to 2 and he’s just a worrier in general. Then lastly, he’s worried about the higher risk of a special needs child with being older. I think that’s only much higher if it’s your first child over 35 though. And whatever child God gives us, or doesn’t give us, is what we are meant to have!

Sorry for the long post but thanks for whoever reads this. Just wanted to get it out for others who understand!!!!

I’ll end on a good note (for my desires) and say that we are still having unprotected sex. We don’t even own any condoms (he’s allergic to latex & I’m not suggesting to him to find alternatives) and I’m NOT getting on BC after all I’ve been through. We had sex on CD 8 & CD 12 (just last night) so I’m not out this month. It could still happen if it is meant to be!