Help! How do I leave an abusive relationship?

Question

Please, if all you’re going to say is “just leave him” or “block him” don’t bother to comment. 
I know I want to leave. I have tried all methods: leaving him for 2 weeks, blocking him, telling him this won’t workout in the most courteous way (to avoid any verbal aggression or violence)…
The problem I’m dealing with is that I know I want to end it but then he comes back begging and I fall for his words. He gives me a sorry speech, looks and sounds remorseful, and then I remember all the great times we shared. Has anyone dealt with this? 
Why is it so easy to go back? I literally left him and lost contact for about 1 week. He was blocked and I was doing somewhat okay but then I started feeling sick in my stomach. I started imagining him being with someone else and I lost it. The idea of your abuser finding someone else better looking than you or the fact he can treat HER better traumatize me. It’s almost as if I’m toxic as well. Sorta like “if I can’t have him then no one can” kinda mindset and I admit it is very toxic of me to think this way. 
Why am I so addicted to this man?? He found a way to contact me and told me he wanted to speak to me for the last time. Well I gave him and he told me he’s been drinking a lot of alcohol to the point of him blacking out and barfing. He said his business went bankrupt and he wants to really change for us! So now we are back together but deep in my soul I know this isn’t for me!

Answer

You don’t want to hear “just leave” or “block him” but that’s literally what you have to do. If you want to leave someone, you have to… leave. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, there’s no other way. It’s like asking how to get fit but you don’t want anyone to tell you to workout. You just gotta do it. Until you accept that’s what you have to do, you’ll remain in the same position.

Answer

Ok, yes, what if he “treats the next one better” - which he won’t anyways lol - but what if you find someone who actually loves and respects you? But you wouldn’t know because you waste too much time with someone like this instead just because of “what ifs” and false apologies

Answer

I mean, it really is that simple, especially if you dont have kids. Just leave. Clean cut, block on everything, never talk to him again. 
Sometimes you gotta learn to love whats good for you. And this man is no good.

Answer

It will only get worse if you stay. You could end up dying by his hands. Leave, block him, change your number and keep him blocked. Contact a therapist or womans shelter and they will help you

Answer

At this point, you’re just doing it to yourself. I know abusive relationships aren’t always easy to leave & a lot come with danger of leaving. But if you straight up have left before just to come back because he texts you.. that’s on YOU. It takes wanting better for yourself to actually leave. And I say this as someone who took almost a year to leave an abusive relationship. But at the end of the day, I was sick of repeating the same pattern over and over again, coming back to the same arguments and conclusions, and I wanted better for myself. No healing or growth happened until I left. And until you come to that conclusion for yourself too, you’re choosing this. The way to leave is to leave. It is to block all contact with him. And move on with your life.

Answer

Therapy. You need someone you can talk to about this and really work on your self esteem. Yes you know what you need to do, but you also need the motivation to actually do it and actually stay away from him. Therapy can help with that motivation. 
To start, I suggest making a list of all the negatives and all the abusive things he has done to you. Literally no amount of kindness can make up for being an abusive asshole. Someone who truly loves you would NEVER be abusive. Re-read that list to yourself every single time he even comes across your mind after you leave him.

Answer

Leaving and blocking doesn't work because you keep letting him back in. Change your number and get a therapist.

Answer

The problem is you have to stay strong and remember how to love yourself more than you love him. You have to know what's good for you and follow through on it. You have to know that when he speaks to you in an apologetic way, or gives you some pity party, it is simply manipulation to get back into a relationship with you so that he can have someone to have control over. When you think about him being with someone else, and you can't stand it, that's your ego trying to keep you stuck in a terrible situation. You need to tell your ego to sit down and shut up and instead tell yourself that you don't give a shit what he does with his life. As long as it ain't you, you cannot care. And it is your ego that is standing in the way of that. It's a choice you make. To allow your giant ego to stand in the way of you moving forward with a healthy life, or to keep you stuck where you are. Totally up to you. ￼

Answer

The truth is you won’t truly leave until you’ve truly had enough or you’re dead. I know that sounds harsh but my buddy died at the hands of her abuser and I tried and tried telling her to leave and the victim never listens until they’ve had enough. I was victim who was hurt and almost killed. I stayed and stayed until I finally realized I couldn’t do this anymore. Sometimes love isn’t enough. Especially when it’s one sided. 🫶🏻

Answer

If he was to ever find someone , he wouldn’t treat them any better. He needs therapy. A lot of these men are verbally abusive. I’m so sorry you’re going through this ! ! You definitely got this !!! Take it day by day. When it’s emotional attachments it makes it easy for you to allow & accept. You really have to tell yourself NOPE :. No more , too many woman get killed by these type of men who are abusive then “ sorry “ he needs help. It’s narcissist behavior

Help! How do I leave an abusive relationship?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey