Mom Guilt vs Actual Problem?

Question

Does anyone ever feel like they are holding their kid back? I know my son is behind in speech, but he is in speech therapy. And I am kicking myself for not doing that sooner. I know that is mom guilt. And I know you aren’t supposed to compare your child to others and every baby is different but sometimes I feel like it’s my fault. For example…. One mom I know only uses a high chair until 1year old. And lots of moms transition to toddler beds at 18 months and potty training at 2. I don’t feel like my son is anywhere near any of those things.  I am starting to feel like maybe I’m not so good at this whole mom thing 😔🥺

Answer

As others have said, every kid is different and they cant reach any developmental stage faster than they can reach them. All you can do is nurture them and help them get there. 
Guilt is useless—do the best you can, fix it when you screw up, keep learning and growing as a parent

Answer

every kid is different! when i worked in a daycare i was mainly with 18m-2.5 year olds, at one point i had at least half of the class around 18m, some were showing multiple signs they were ready to potty train (asking for the bathroom, telling me they needed a diaper change), some showed no signs, some could talk in sentences, some did not talk almost at all. even the oldest class 2.5-4ish had some that hardly talked and some still potty training. I know the feeling though, my sister and I have babies within 4m of each other and her little girl is younger and talks so much, and even sings while my boy is only talking a little bit. they both stayed at my house during the day and so they did everything together, but my baby walked, climbed, crawled etc before hers, so it really shows, it’s not always the parents fault, some babies just take a little more time! I would recommend reading books a lot, some about potty training!

Answer

You really can’t compare. Each kid is dif for each situation. My friends first 2 kids were the easiest kids. Potty trained themselves on their own at 2, no issues meeting milestones, etc. Her 3rd kid was so much more difficult. She wasn’t ready for potty training til almost 4, she’s delayed in speech, more meltdowns, doesn’t sleep well at all, and just all around more difficult to parent! My friend told me she definitely learned it’s not parenting style, it’s completely the kid. 
Another family I talked to said their kids have been easy to parent. Their kids were potty trained by 2. They said they hardly did anything, the kids just taught themselves. I hear that a lot with the ones who transition things early.
My 3 year old is speech delayed, and not yet potty trained. We tried a couple months back. I thought we’d just push through it but she seriously was not ready. She was scared to potty train and holding it in all day every day. It made me feel so bad but she just wasn’t ready and it was best we take a break to try again. 
Each kid is ready for each milestone at dif times. It does not mean anything at all about the parent! I think being a good mom is acknowledging where your kid is at and transitioning when the time is right for your kid. Doing things too soon won’t work out well for certain kids. You have to be mindful on what works for your son.
Don’t feel guilty at all! We all get mom guilt from time to time. It just means we care about doing what’s best for our kids. You’re doing everything right, don’t overthink it!

Answer

Kids come in a wide range and do different things at different times. My daughter slept in a crib until 2, which is longer than some, but she also potty trained at 2. Now she’s nearly 6 and isn’t quite reading, but is doing more math than most of her peers. Just make sure you’re getting your child the support he needs and then a lot of it will be up to Mother Nature.

Answer

You can’t compare. 
My first was out of a high chair at like 10m old. She was a very clean eater and liked sitting like a big kid. She could use utensils even. She transitioned herself to a twin bed at 15m. She didn’t verbally say more than 5 words until 24m (she didn’t qualify for speech therapy when we had her evaluated). By 26m, she was caught up on her milestone (huge word bomb). Shes 2.5 and not quite ready to potty train so we are pushing it (plus I want to do the naked method and it’s too freaking cold to make her do that right now). In 3m, we may try. 
My second…he’s 13m (we are going to go by corrected age for developmental purposes as he was 3m premature). He doesn’t use utensil though he tries.  He does fully eat by himself but his hands are the best tools still (which is normal!). He absolutely still needs a high chair with the straps secured. He still sleeps in a crib in our room and he’s no where near ready to transition. I truly don’t think he’ll be ready to potty train until closer to 4. 
Every baby is different. Truly.

Answer

Trust me, you’re fine!!! My daughter is far behind in every developmental milestone possible (also in speech therapy & OT). I’ve felt beyond guilty, but I had to come to terms with the fact that every child develops essentially at their own pace, and eventually they catch up with their same-age peers. I’m sure you’re a terrific mom!! Please stop blaming yourself & carry on being a great mom! 💜

Answer

Kids are all SOOO different!! My son was speaking full sentences at 2, my daughter only has a few words. Shes still “on track”. The same son who was speaking so well at 2 was 4 by the time he was interested in potty training. You really can’t compare the kids. So much of it is personality based, you just may not realize that until they’re older! 
I struggled with my first, a lot. Because I saw all these women who look like they have their crap together. But here’s the thing. They don’t!! They’re just figuring it out day by day same as you! Your kids are doing the same thing. We’re all just making it up as we go, it’s not Groundhog Day where we have 1,000 chances to experience a day. Every day is new and no one has been where they are before. 
Keep up the good work mamma!!

Mom Guilt vs Actual Problem?

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