Why is it always, "I'm Fine"?

Question

Are there any other people out there that get this response from their spouse when they ask if they're okay or if you ask is there something wrong? My husband hates when I ask him either of those questions repeatedly. But, I can tell he's in a mood or that he's not truly fine. I'm not doing it to annoy him. I sincerely care if he's actually okay. Sometimes I follow it with, "Did I do anything?". Because, I CARE and if there's something I've done to upset him, I'd like to fix it. I want us to have open communication. We've been together for 13 years and married for 7 years. This has always been a struggle because I like to talk about things and he doesn't. So, how do we meet in the middle?

Answer

Stop nagging him & asking it repeatedly. When he says I’m fine just say okay, i just wanted to check. If there’s something that’s bothering you I’d like to talk about it when you’re ready & go on with your day

Answer

Did you grow up in a household where you had to be super sensitive to peoples moods? Like you weren't sure if someone was going to be in a really bad mood so you had to really pay close attention in order to predict them? Sort of as a way of protecting your self against their bad moods? People who grew up like this often are super sensitive when their partners act like this. And that will cause you to ask over and over again to make sure that they are OK and to make sure you didn't do anything wrong to cause the mood. Whether growing up that way is the case or not, this is not actually because you care so much about whether or not they are OK. This is actually because you are uncomfortable with their mood and you need relief from that feeling so you don't feel like you did something wrong. So what I would recommend is rather than asking a bunch of times and worrying so much about them, focus on your own feelings of discomfort and learn ways to cope with that. If you cope with your feelings, and your partner copes with his feelings, Then the two of you will eventually be able to communicate about it. But if you keep pushing your partner to communicate with you to ease your discomfort, it's going to continue to cause issues. ￼￼

Answer

Make him his favourite meal.. or cuddle up with a movie and just say.. i know ur feeling down or i noticed that ur not urself.. so when u want to talk.. i'm here.. and if he want's to talk.. good.. if not.. then leave it.

Why is it always, "I'm Fine"?

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