Mentally im gone

A little backstory, I had my first son in August of 2021 and got pregnant again in February 2023, miscarried in March 2023 at 7 weeks and have had the hardest time getting pregnant since. My OB told me at my last appointment after the MC that she expects that she’ll see me again by July 2023 because I’ll be pregnant again. That never happened. Feel like she definitely gave me false hope. The past 2 weeks I could have put serious money on I’m pregnant because I’ve NEVER had these symptoms when I’m not pregnant, I was seriously so sure (and no it wasn’t my mind playing tricks on me.) I had nausea/a woozy feeling during/after EVERY meal, mild cramping throughout the two weeks that felt a lot like conception and the uterus stretching preparing for a baby, extremeee tiredness (like going to bed at 8-9pm tired) headaches, frequent urination, backaches, bloating, serious sore/swollen boobs with nipple changes, bad heartburn when I eat certain foods, craving certain foods. I know a lot of these are also PMS symptoms but I read that nausea points more towards pregnancy and that was my main symptom. I started bleeding today & mentally I’m not okay. Ive even felt nauseous after some of my meals today which makes no sense. I thought for sure this was it, I thought I finally had something to get excited about. I’ve contemplated life today. My heart is completely broken and I don’t know what to do. I’m tired of waiting for something that probably won’t ever happen, I’m tired of my amazing, perfect son never getting to experience being a big brother, I’m tired of never being good enough to get/stay pregnant, Im tired of stressing about this big age gap that I didn’t want, I don’t know how much longer I can do this. 😭