Pcos rant

I am feeling completely down right now. I just tested negative once again. I am only 24 years old soon to be 25, I am newly married and we haven’t been preventing since we have been together for almost 4 years now. I am overweight and I know the obvious just lose the weight and I’ll be able to conceive. Its not that easy for me I have been going to the gym 3 times a week and I’m a nurse so it’s not like when I’m not at the gym I’m just sitting around, my life isn’t me just sitting around being lazy but for some reason I’ve gained about 15 pounds quickly and it fluctuates horribly. I’ve had irregular periods since I started getting them and I wasn’t overweight as a teen and my period only regulated when I went on bc as soon as I got off it did the same things again. I go months without one unfortunately I told my doctor I recently just had a rapid weight gain and they just look at me like im a fatass and just need to lose weight. It’s taking a toll on my mental health I do not feel like a woman I feel horrible I can’t give my husband the gift of becoming a father or myself the gift of becoming a mother. Everyone is mentioning babies to us. There are women who don’t deserve to be mothers that easily produce babies, women who don’t even want kids that easily have multiple. My friend just had one and she didn’t want kids and it was an accident from sex for only a month or two. I know I sound horrible. I’m just getting drained and it hurts and I’m becoming depressed and it’s definitely putting a toll on me…