Mom’s mental health

Moms who struggle and I mean STRUGGLE with their mental health, How do you cope? Today it got so bad that I considered disappearing. It went as far as me leaving the house without so much as a word ( My husband was there so I didn’t leave the kids unattended and he watch me leave). I’m struggling really bad and I don’t know what to do anymore. For the last 10-11 years Iv put myself on the back burner. No one seems to care about what’s going on with me. I clean and clean and clean. I raise the kids. I cook the dinner. I do everything for my husband and kids. In return I get nothing. I used to get love from my husbands and kids they used to care.

Note: I have BPD. Iv been to doctors, iv been to therapy. The meds only ever help with a few things here and there but it’s never enough.