How would you feel if you couldn't meet the woman that's gonna be around your child?

Question

Last month me and my BD's custody agreement changed. We have a 10 month old son and he recently served me a restraining order which we had to court about and he was granted the restraining order. So we are only allowed to communicate through a third party.  When we do a drop off it has to be through this specific center so we have 0 communication with each other. My sister went on his Facebook and found out he's dating a girl and they are already living together! I do know OF this girl and they've known each other a few years but doesn't seem like theyve been dating long and if shes living there shes around my son. How would you feel about this? I'm only legally required to stay away from him but not HER. I think I should meet her. I have had no mentions if her and I'm the mother. I don't want anyone around my kid that I haven't met.

Accepted Answer

First, if he was granted a restraining order against you, there’s a reason for that so I’m guessing you are a problem 
Second, you have no right to meet any woman he’s with. If y’all had a good coparenting relationship, maybe he would consider but given that he’s had to get a restraining order against you… you’re gonna have to lay in the bed you made 
I highly suggest getting in therapy. I can understand how hard it must be to know another woman will help raise your child, but you need to do better for your kid. Stop the drama. Stop the mess. Go to therapy and learn how to deal with the situation you’re in. You’ve already messed up enough that you have a restraining order against you…. Time to wake up.

Answer

They don’t give restraining orders for no reason, I could barely get one against my abuser. you had to have done something for him to be able to get what. you can’t communicate with him so what’re you gonna do, stalk her so you can meet her? Leave it alone

Answer

These are what we call consequences.

Answer

Agreed. If he was granted the restraining order against you, then you sound like you can be alot to deal with. The woman that he is with, has no obligation to meet you or speak with you. She has probably been advised to stay away from you, as she should.

Answer

You’re not entitled to meet anyone in his life. He was granted a restraining order against you for a justifiable reason. Stay away from him and her. If you attempt to meet her or contact her, she can get a restraining order against you as well.
Get therapy.

Answer

Sounds like he’s keeping that woman away from you for her own safety.

Answer

Seems like you're gonna have to start relinquishing some control here. You have less control over the situation because you have a restraining order against you. Don't start contacting her and trying to meet her. It may not go well and it may not go how you think it will. You could find yourself with another restraining order and if you're not careful, you could eventually just lose custody of your child. Your child's father has the right to have a new spouse in the home around the child, whether you like it or not. Of course every mother would prefer to meet who their child would be around, and if you had a good relationship with the father, that might be possible… but when you have a restraining order against you, there's not much you can do. I would recommend trying to go through the courts to have some sort of agreement on this topic instead of trying to contact his spouse. Also, your sister should really mind her own business. ￼￼￼￼

How would you feel if you couldn't meet the woman that's gonna be around your child?

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