going to the doctors (rant)

im going for a check up, but i havent gone in a year because i feel so embarrassed. i have an unhealthy lifestyle and i am ashamed but its hard to break old habits :/ i eat once or twice a day, i vape everyday, and i havent actively exercised in months. i keep telling myself that ill quit soon; im too busy to eat healthily or exercise, but even i know thats bs, i feel so anxious and embarrassed to go