Mother in law🙃

How do I explain to my husband that his mother is too much without sounding bitter?

We live in a 2b 2b duplex, with 2 babies now. Our house is not big and we do not have extra room. She comes down so very often, like almost every month, sometimes every 2-3 and stays for a week at a time.

We just had our second baby 2 weeks ago. We are still getting used to the change and him staying in our bedroom. Our only escape is our living room for some alone quiet time while the baby sleeps. He wakes up to almost everything when I’m in the bedroom with him.

She told us before the baby was born that she would come down when we were ready and stay at a hotel down the street (which is better than our first baby when she hoped a flight the same day). I thought we finally got through to her on what i wanted.

Scratch forward she arrives in 24 hours and we had to ask her if she still got a hotel, which she did not. She went to say “I can get a hotel if you want but I was planning on staying with y’all if I could”.. so this just shows me she never planned on a hotel because you usually buy that the same time as your plane tickets. Now we don’t want to sound like assholes making her get a hotel 24 hours before arriving. It’s manipulation at its finest.

It’s causing issues between my husband and me because I am fuming with rage and he is okay because it’s his mom and he doesn’t want to upset her.

Maybe it’s my postpartum hormones but I am pissed. I want communication and i don’t know why a hotel was ever mentioned if it was never the case. I would have told her we were not ready for visitors if I knew she was going to be staying here for 5 NIGHTS ON OUR COUCH. I’m stressing, I’m going to be cleaning before her stay, during her stay and after she leaves because she does not clean her messes and leaves all her bags and everything all over the living room. 2 weeks postpartum.

Need some advice I feel like I may go crazy and blow up.