I live in the hood, where 85% is black, 10% Mexican and 5% white. The projects to be exact.

I have a condition, hyperthyroidism, it makes me throw up due to high levels of hormones, but I eat.

I have kids, not 1, not 3, but 5.. Including twins. I was happiest then, being 126lbs.

I’m currently knocking on 90lbs, if not 90lbs itself. I’ve always been small, I’m 5’2..

I ate 3 meals today, horrible choices but I don’t have diet restrictions.. Chicken nuggets and iced coffee for breakfast, a strawberry bagel for lunch, I just finished salmon and rice.. I eat.

I have to take an exam today that’s due at midnight (6 hours from now roughly), I went to my car to get my glasses cause lord knows I can’t see far. Got my glasses, locked my car, was walking to my car and seen a group of kids, ages from maybe 14 to 4 years old. Maybe 12 of them. Idk.

“You’re so skinny” some kids ran after it was said.

I opened my screen door, chuckled, and said “and it’s crazy, I have 5 kids”

I say this in hopes of them turning to their parent, acknowledging how she has 2 kids and is by far bigger than me- I’m not for body shaming, but I’m all for giving a narrative. Most women who have kids FIGHT to lose weight- I wish I was apart of that group.

Not a single stretch mark, or a pound gained to account for a baby.. Just 5 footprint tattoos on my forearm with my kids names on it in cursive.

Currently in my bed crying, are they kids, and shouldn’t it be brushed off? Yeah, but who gave them the fuel to say that? Who told them to say that? Not even that.. But words are still words & if they knew how sick I was on the days where my thyroid was messing with me, the days where I would contemplate suicide cause NOTHING worked (I have no insurance, so my thyroid issue is untreated).

If you have kids, do the fuck better.