AITA for being turned off by my husband and having zero desire to have sex with him?

Question

Despite the above, I still typically will have sex with him once or twice a week, as long as it’s not shark week, to try my best to meet his needs since he has a high libido. I don’t want him to feel neglected in the intimacy department… but…. he has started grossing me out so badly that I cringe at sex and even more so kissing. 
Physically I think he is an attractive man and I still find him handsome. But in 7 years together I’ve never seen him floss and he refuses to because “it makes his gums bleed”, and he has so much plaque built up on his teeth. His breath is bad. I have tried to gently tell him this, but he won’t go to the dentist. And on top of that there are more (probably superficial) things he’s doing to add to my being grossed out. 
For example: like tonight, he sat and obnoxiously slurped down his ramen, which he added a bunch of extra shit to including cheese (and he is slightly intolerant to dairy) and it smelled AWFUL. So now he is gassy… and he literally just bent over, let the loudest fart rip, and SERIOUSLY said “so, what are my chances tonight?” (Talking about sex)… then immediately came over and started trying to grope me while mouth breathing (which he always does too) on me with his bad breath. I admitted that I was grossed out a little and not in the mood, and he said “it’s fine I’ll brush my teeth”… which as I’m sure you can guess, doesn’t help all that much considering the plaque and 7+ years of no flossing. 
But this kind of stuff is ALL the time, and he does absolutely nothing to try and turn me on or get me in the mood.. his idea of that is slapping my ass or pinching my nipple while I’m trying to load the dishwasher or cook dinner or do laundry while simultaneously being gross. Them come bed time I’ve put our son to sleep, I can’t even get laid down in the bed good before he’s coming under the cover and just immediately trying to go down on me.. no warm up. Nothing to try and get me in the mood. Just wants to jump right in. I hate it 😭
I feel bad because I love him, and I want to WANT sex with him, but it’s just getting worse and worse. And he’s super sensitive to the topic and I’m scared of hurting his feelings.
AITA?? How should I approach this without being an AH??

Answer

No you are not the asshole. I threw up a little reading that

Answer

I definitely understand. Suggest he go tothe dentist to have his teethcleaned

Answer

So you need to be communicating with your husband what it is you are needing intimacy wise that isn't leading to sex. Maybe take sex off the table to build desire and want again.
I few years ago I had a realization with my husband I was totally turned off. I had to get real with him that I needed more effort. I needed to be dated and romanced. That grouping wasn't for me but for him and that I needed connection that didn't feel like I was a piece of meat.
I had to lay out as well too bathroom issues. Like my husband likes to leave doors open and I find it repulsive. He would fart and burp and think it was funny. I had to lay down the law that it wasn't appropriate during certain times like during a family dinner. That every time he did these things I actually recoiled back into myself more.
I think it is fine for a couple to talk about what are turn offs. We focus so much on turn ons that we don't even know what makes our partner cringe and hit the emergency break. My husband now shuts doors. He is holding off on the gas when around me and excusing himself outside or to facilities. Our intimacy has improved and now his advances feel good.
That being said if you are going to tell your husband what is bothering you be prepared he might have some requests too. Mine wanted me to be more affectionate and wanted me to make more moves.
Best wishes.

Answer

I don’t think you’re an asshole and I think you should bring it up with him. Much better to be honest and hopefully resolve the issue rather than let it become so far gone that there’s no way to repair the relationship. Just sit him down and say you miss the intimacy but lately it’s become too “comfortable” to get in the mood. Suggest making him a dental appointment at least once and then maybe get a water pick or some mouth wash to go along with his teeth brushing. Flossing once a week is better than nothing at all. He’s probably embarrassed to go to a dentist or maybe had a previous bad experience? Just start with baby steps. Also positive reinforcement- if he gets all cleaned up and puts some effort in then point it out. 
I think overall I think it’s just easy to get comfortable when you’re married and forget that you should be trying to keep your partner interested. My husband and I are definitely guilty of this.

Answer

I'm in the same boat. I'm due next month with my 5th, and all my husband focuses on is HIS desires. It's constant jokes about blowjobs, anal, oral, you name it, he's said it. I can tolerate the whistling, the butt smacks as long as he's mindful of his strength, and the occasional boob grab because I love the fact that he finds me attractive and wants to be intimate with me. But as soon as he starts trying to kiss me or do anything else I want nothing to do with it. He vapes and smokes cigs/weed, and the smell of it puts me off. He also currently has a full beard and moustache so kissing him is difficult anyway.

AITA for being turned off by my husband and having zero desire to have sex with him?

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