I need to get out of this marriage and trip

I’m like 85% sure i want to divorce my husband.probably higher than that but I’m so scared of what family/ friends will think/say. It’s just become loveless. Our kids and i are after thoughts professionally (military) and personally. for instance we are on vacation and he constantly just leaves us (4yo 1yo) to go to big pool/out in waves/ to get drinks by himself. Constantly talking down to me. Ex. He misheard a travel detail (that i took care of anyway) and when the TSA agent proceeedd to tell him what I’ve been telling him he goes “see you know nothing” in front of him. I’ve aired this out to him at least 3/4 times in past 3 Years. And no change. I’ve lost a lot of respect and love for him and honestly prefer for him to just not be near me. I’m just so embarrassed to divorce. Like when i see other people go through i always feel a sense of pride but when i think of doing it myself i feel shame and embarrassment. Looking for advice. Words of wisdom. Something to lift my spirits. We are out of the country and i want nothing more than to book an early flight back home with my kids. Already called the airline and they won’t transfer my flights but im going to try to get me and my kids a new room. We didn’t even make it out the airport before things got sour and it just got worse through out the day.