I'm trying to figure out if I'm being the overprotective older sister or if my brother is in over his head. He says it will get better once his girlfriend starts work. Anyone know how much a denturist makes on Ontario, Canada?

Question

I'm trying to figure out if I'm being an overprotective big sister or if my little brother is getting in over his head with this girl.
He's been seeing her for almost two years now. She graduated as a denturist (someone who makes false teeth) last year. She's refused to work since then saying that no one will pay what she's worth. She says she should be making "Minimum $100 000, maybe $150 000 each year." She says the places she's applying to only want to pay her $25/hr. When I look online, even her college program is saying that she can expect to make minimum $45k/year. She has been a "stay at home girlfriend" ever since but does nothing all day except shop and socialize. They had to hire a maid!
She is high maintenance. My brother is paying for her hair, eye lashes, laser hair removal and nails. Anything she wants he gets for her. It's upwards of $4000/month and she pays for nothing. They love together only because she couldn't pay for rent and he couldn't afford two rent payments and her other bills. 
Recently she started talking about getting married and is looking at rings that are minimum $15k. I told my brother that she is taking advantage of him but he doesn't see it. He says she is undervalued and can't find work. Once she starts working be says that will be better. 
I told him that when I Google how much an entry-level denturist makes, it's in line with what she's being offered.
My brother is really hardworking but he asked me for money to buy a ring. I told him no way. He said he's already $30k in debt and that doesn't include her line of credit, credit card debt and student loans. I told him then maybe this relationship isn't worth it. Before he started seeing her, our parents each gave us money towards a house. I bought my house but my brother decided to invest and go for a bigger house later. His house money is now gone, as are all his savings. She has brought only debt to the relationship.
I try not to get involved but we are very close. He's only 2 years younger than me and this is his first big relationship. Our whole family says this relationship is a mistake but he says that once she starts working things will get better. 
So... Do you see red flags too or is it just me?

Answer

I see red flags too, but this is his life and his mess. 
She is a user. She isn't just sending red flags, she IS a red flag. If she is costing him a minimum of $4 000 each month, that's $48 000/year. Two years of this? $96 000 right there. Let's call it $100 000. That is actually obscene. 
Add in the fact that he's already $30 000 in the hole AND she has debts on top of that? Insanity. Pure insanity. They're both living way outside of their means. 
If they want to stay together, they have to figure out their spending. Don't lend them any money. 
She will ruin his life and his credit score.

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Unacceptable for a lot of reasons. First of all, the salaries you see online are usually very skewed. Theyre based on highly experienced professionals in major cities and are often not what people actuallly make. Schools sometimes use that because they want your tuition. Secondly a lot of entry level professionals start at a low rate because theyre more risky to the company if they screw up and they require a lot more training and supervision, which is stress on the infrustructure and costly. Thats not being undervalued, thats called proving yourself, because any Joe Shmoe can go to school but that doesnt mean theyre reliable, a hard worker, experienced etc, you have to prove that. My first job out of grad school was exactly like that, pretty low pay, but I learned a lot, got paid a bit, and got a boost on my resume. She needs to think of it like a paid internship her first year or 2. She can negotiate her salary a bit, and once she has experience she can apply elsewhere for higher pay. In the meantime, bottom line, if you dont work then live modestly while your partner supports you according to their means, not all.of your wants. Your brother isnt a millionare and this lifestyle of hers is putting a strain on him. If she loved him, she would want him to be financially healthy and not go into debt for her. She would try to take things off his plate like household responsibilities, figure out  a plan b career, try to save money, and be a partner in other ways. It sounds like shes using him and taking him for whatever she can. No way would I lend him the money.

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He’s definitely in over his head, but it’s his life & his choices. Maybe this is a lesson he needs to learn. He’s absolutely being taken advantage of, but he’s allowing it to happen. That girl is no good for him.

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Gold digger at her finest your brother needs a wake up call before he get way in the hole with her lazy gold digging ass and tons of debt

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Lots of red flags for sure, but he’s an adult. If I were in your position, I’d decline to loan him money and just be there for him. Hopefully he’ll open his eyes sooner rather than later.

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Yeah here is from Ontario gov website

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Alberta gov website says starting 55k... If she wants a higher paying job why doesnt she at least take what shes being offered now until she finds something better? But i agree with others who said unfortunately its his mistake to make. But youre right to think the situation sucks!

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That bitch is trash. She has no experience if she won't get a job. No one will pay her good money till she learns hands on. At the point everything she learned at school is gone. Her work will be trash.

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Not sure about your area but my neighbors daughter is 2 yrs out from graduation in that field and starting salary on our region is about 105K a year. Her boss who has been in the field for aboit 10 yrs is making over 160K. You'd have to check your local area and what education levels equals what pay. In my region of the usa though 100K is low end.

I'm trying to figure out if I'm being the overprotective older sister or if my brother is in over his head. He says it will get better once his girlfriend starts work. Anyone know how much a denturist makes on Ontario, Canada?

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