My husband isn’t my husband. He belongs to his mom

My husband is all the time trying to please his mom and it’s getting annoying. Every time she’s in town, he has to be at her house eating her meals.

Every single night he has to be playing basketball with his ‘primos’ and brothers. 10:00 pm- 1:00 am and this sounds bad but he was bringing our kids (6, 4 and 2)

I kept telling him no and he was making it extremely hard for me. I finally put a stop to it and made my kids a bedtime. We were going to bed at 2 am and getting up at 12:00 sometimes 1:00 pm. We were all drained!

It’s hard making boundaries when my husband and his family try to get in the way. We are just now going to bed at 10 and waking up at 9:00 am. I feel good and my husband wants to take that away from me.

He makes it hard… every night he just leaves and says I have the kids since I destroyed everything and they have a bedtime. I asked him, “so you won’t help me put them to bed but you’ll help me if they stay up late?” And he said yes. I don’t understand his way of thinking.

I actually get time to my self, clean, cook and SHOWER! I feel like it might be a control thing??

Him and his mom are both livid with me..

He made the comment about “why is food never made? You are suppose to be in the kitchen. WE (kids and him) are hungry!!!!” It’s getting annoying.. he’s a womanizer —

He got me a Honda mini van and turned around and got his mom a nice Nissan murano that she doesn’t drive. It literally sits there and my husband has to drive her places. I mentioned it to my husband and he got mad!

I’m jealous that she is getting the attention that I am craving from my husband. I know that sounds bad, but I am.

She gets the best parts of him and I feel like a side chick…

He’s talking about adding on to our house but I don’t want to. He mentioned before that our house will go to her… he already gave her a house and furnished it. He pays for her bills and everything.

Heck, when I was in labor I was there all alone while my husband was chasing after her because ‘her belly hurt’. When my husband FINALLY got to the hospital I was2 hours from having the baby (he’s now 11 months)

He is all the time taking her to her doctors appointments while he missed every single doctor appointments when I was pregnant…

He says I hate his mom but I resent her… I honestly resent the both of them

He doesn’t see any red flags with her… but then again he has red flags.

I’m sad with how he talks to me.. I have to beg for his attention. I have to beg for him to talk to me.He’s all the time on his phone. He has a FB messenger group with his cousins and he listens to voice messages from them all the time.. also from his mom.., He said I need to hire a therapist to talk to because it’s all in my head.

When i tell him not to play basketball, he tells me he can do whatever he wants… I am NOT his mom!

He wants to take his whole family to the beach (he’d be the one paying for it) and I told him I want a vacation with just us and he gets mad and says forget it.

Now, he said he’s going to Guatemala all alone so he can spoil his other family who are ‘poor’ even though they are living a better life style than we are.

So in about two weeks, he is going to Guatemala. I am going to be home with our 4 kids.

No communication. He does what he wants… screw what I think! I can’t keep doing this. When I look in the mirror I don’t even see myself. I’m tired of feeling heavy in my chest… I’m tired of the dark circles under my eyes from crying myself to sleep… I’m tired of dissociating because it’s too hard to live in reality.

So, I guess when he’s in Guatemala spoiling his family like how I wished he spoiled ours, I’ll be moving back in with my mom. I’m not going to have any communication with him, other than asking him for money for the kids… he won’t know unless his brothers tell him..

I beg him to go to church with us as a family. I crave it.. I crave to have a family because I was raised in a broken home. He’d rather go to church with his mom.. he said my preacher is suppose to be my leader, not him.

He is all the time telling me that my face looks mad and ugly. He tells me I dress like a Christian but I will never be a Christian like him and his mom. He says I am full of so much hate.

I don’t even love myself anymore…

I am very self conscious in public places.. I feel like I give off a mean look based on what him and his mom has said..

By the way, his mom gives me the silent treatment. She doesn’t talk to me. When I’m around, she also ignores the kids.

He is with his family 99% of the time. Literally. We see them everyday and he gets mad when I mention it

I’m over it

Sorry this is all over the place. There’s just TOO much! 😔😭

And I a way, I don’t know what to do… I don’t know if he will ever change. He’s pushing me away.. I do feel bad because his mom GROOMED him to be this way.