Feel weak bc im going crazy with only 2 kids..

But they are back to back 4 and 3. One has autism. My family barely helps. My brother half ass watches th3m while I'm at work. Thr minute I get off I get texts and calls saying where am I? How far away am I?

When I get home the house is trashed snd kids are in soaked saggy dispers. I told him about it it doesn't change. Both kids were kicked out of school. One bc I couldn't afford the daycare ( I was working part time at the time-- now I'm full time but I get paid biweekly)

The other my mom wouldn't help take my son to school so he missed 3 days in a row and got discharged.

Now I'm carless. I lyft to work which is expensive. I feel I can't save to get a car. My dsughter tells me she wants to go back to school ... kids dad is a lame alcoholic that has seizures bc of it.. I put him on child support but he sends when he wants.

I feel myself unraveling. I'm in school full-time and I'm afraid mental illness will take over. I tried therapy the therapist was unhelpful he just said say positive affirmations.. I just feel screwed . I have aanxious intrusive thoughts... always scared on edge.

Feel ashamed bc my mom had 4 kids and she keeps telling me she did it and I'm not doing no more than what any other mother does.

I truly hate I'm going mental. I keep trying to will myself to be okay... im not but I try to keep going but I can't talk to my mom.

She thinks I'm weak and my dad thinks I should be able to power through he said I had these kids so I gotta deal ..

I feel so weak. I only have 2 kids. I wish I was stronger 😭