I hate having my period. I hate myself for bleeding. I feel like my period just makes me weak and diminishes my health and my comfortability and happiness. I hate myself for messing up the sheets. I’m 24. I got my first period when I was 13. From there it’s just been hell. I went from having a period every other 2-3 months in my teens to having one that comes every month. How can I stay positive all month and keep going when I have to hate myself for half of the month? On my period I just think about how it good it would feel to die. I try to improve my mental health, I try to be happy, I try to do all this stuff just for it to be ruined by my period.

It’s so hard for me to take showers on my period or even a bath. Blood makes me nauseas and makes me feel like a hole is burning in my stomach. I hate the way the period smells. And no I don’t have any infection, but blood smells fucking nasty. It literally makes me cringe to have the thought of cleaning myself down there while dried up blood is there and it’s wet with water. Nobody understands what I go through with my period. Anytime I complain about it people tell me to get over it or just grow up. But no matter how old I get I’ll never not hate my period, and hate that time of the month, and hate the blood. I’ll always hate it. Nothing will ever make me not hate it.

It also makes me sad during my period because I know it’s likely I’ll never have kids, if I can’t even survive period cramps and handle my period it’s no way I’ll be a good mom or even be able to survive a pregnancy. People can judge me for not taking a shower but no one knows how mentally bad I’m doing every month. Nobody has to help me or deal with it but me.