I (33 F) and my fiancé (33 male) have been together for 5 years and just got engaged in January of this year. He’s the love of my life.

I’m writing this in because I’m faced with a massive dilemma. My fiancé is a touring musician and left on tour for the summer and is almost done in a few more weeks. This weekend I get to fly out to visit him and I’m so excited. While I was doing some work on my desktop I use my fiance computer to watch Netflix. I went to Google search to pull Pinterest and saw one of his tabs has Instagram open. I was curious…. So I checked. And unfortunately I was faced with a conversation I saw… it was a fan girl sending him incredibly inappropriate messages. He’d tell her he’s taken and he’s not going to engage back with her sexually. It was incredibly odd because he still kept conversation going with this girl even tho she kept speaking incredibly out of line and was greatly inappropriate. He try to change the subject but she still say how she wants to ‘suck his cock’ etc. somehow even with her comments and he didn’t indulge in it back (THANKFULLY), he still wanted to engage in conversation and talk regardless. I sat back heart broken. I felt sick to my stomach. I saw he send her photos of his day (that I never even got photos of) of what he was doing with his band etc. He kept her updated on whatever he was doing. Then I got a text of him saying he wished I sexted more or even seduced him more… and how I’m not flirty with him enough on text / or send him nudes. Thats when I knew he enjoyed this woman boosting his ego. Even if he didn’t engage back with sexual behaviour. He still engaged with a woman who wanted him and enjoyed that he was taken.

When I questioned him on why he felt I didn’t sext enough - send cute photos / or nudes etc (even tho I did.) he started to change the subject. Thats when I bluntly asked if he enjoys fans seducing him. And he didn’t respond for a bit and when he did he said “I get weird texts often, from guys and girls, especially on tour, but I always tell them I have a fiance and that I’m faithful and not to send me anything like that. I wouldn’t say it makes me feel good, I think it makes me lonely cause I don’t want that from them. That’s kind of my point. I just want to sext u, and want u to want to send me texts or stuff just randomly.”

I’m currently writing this from my bed feeling absolutely speechless. And it feels as though there’s a frog in my throat. You know the panic sweats… the ones where your hands shake cause you know you learned of something bad? Thats me right now. But my man didn’t say anything sexual back… he even told her he won’t reply to her message. But yet - he still asks her what she did last night. So I’m confused. I have some photos of what she sent him.