Would you get a divorce ?

Question

My husband and I were struggling with fertility issues for 7 years. We finally have our miracle baby. She’s about to be a year old soon. My husband has been working 7 days a week (asks the boss to work on his days off) he leaves to work while the baby and I are still sleeping and comes home when the baby is about to sleep. He does not buy her anything, he does not help me with my bills or help with the baby. I asked him to buy her diapers and formula and he complains about not having enough money when I know he does. I work from home and I buy our baby everything and take care of her alone. What would you do if you were in my position?

Answer

I dont understand how yall can be married and not go over finances and share expenses, thats a basic part of marriage. If you keep money separate ok but then there still should be financial transparency and cooperation. Also if he says he works a lot of overtime but isnt making extra money, he may not actually be working on his days off. Maybe he has another woman or is out with friends? Or maybe he actually has no job? If he refused to be transparent with me or help with bills and hes out of the house so much without real accountability, yes I would divorce. But has your marriage always been like this?

Answer

Not many marriages function with money not commingled in any way unless both parties have a lot of it and are comfortably maintaining their standard of living. You’ve established the financial rules in your relationship, and in my opinion they’re not acceptable. You don’t have to put every penny together if having separate accounts keeps everyone happy, but it’s completely outrageous that he pays for nothing. How much does he make? Is he getting OT? Where’s his money going that he’s broke? I completely understand keeping certain bills that you brought into the relationship like a credit card or student loan or child support of children from previous relationships as a responsibility of the person they originated with, but household expenses (especially related to the baby) are joint responsibility expenses and he should absolutely be paying his half. Personally this would cause me to become hyper focused on money and I would be sending invoices for every penny of his half of every expense with receipts. If his reaction is anything but paying it (or giving a valid explanation why it’s not possible) I would bounce and immediately file for child support. Sounds like he’s covering for something, maybe a huge financial mess like a gambling addiction, or a drug addiction, or actually cheating, but regardless you have to get to the bottom of what the mess is and decide if you wanna pick up a broom and help or burn the whole house down and start over.

Answer

It’s like you’re on you’re own like he’s decided oh he doesn’t want a baby now. Have you tried talking to him see what he says? I would be off I personally wouldn’t put up with that. Hope it works out for u x

Answer

Maybe have a conversation? Did the two of you stop being a couple through infertility.

Would you get a divorce ?

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