My husband is sick of me complaining how I carry the load at home. I'm a stay at home mom but even when he is home he's oblivious to doing his fair share. We've had many talks about this. He says I'm mean for how I talk to him when I finally break down over what is going on. His view is he doesn't do it to be mean he's just oblivious. My point is he hates me micromanaging, asking him he won't do it, or even when he sees me doing stuff he doesn't chip in.

Tonight case in point. He says he made dinner. Not true I had dinner already made and prepared and all he had to do was take it out of the fridge and put one tray in the oven and open up another tray with the fruits and veggies I had washed and cut up.

He says we should split up putting kids to bed. He takes the baby I get the older two. Then we switched and I go breastfeed the baby to sleep. When I come out of the room he hasn't done dishes (I already did dishes earlier today.) he isn't washing bottles or pump parts. He isn't taking the dog out. He didn't make a lunch. And the toddler is crying.

While doing dishes and bottles I tell him the toddler is crying and he doesn't get up from his phone. I tell him I'm not making his lunch then if I also have to make and clean up every meal today. He is going to have to pack his own lunch. He says fine. I then tell him does he want to do dishes and bottles or get our kid. And his exact response is "is he awake?" Yes I told you he is awake. So what are you doing cause I can't do it all at once?

He wants me to candy coat every interaction but he doesn't listen and he doesn't respect me either. It's my literal job to do everything home and kid related it feels like. I get it's my job but today is Sunday and today we are both home?!?!

Two weeks ago he told me he wanted more children and I explained I can't I physically am not able to I had tubal removal after our last baby because my health. He said he's still sad about that. I told him my hands are full with the children we have. I legit think he looks at me like I manage everything and everyone and it is of no concern to him what my doctors are saying about my physical health and what I'm mentally able to handle.

My firm belief is if we are both home we are both responsible for the home and children. I'm not a servant maid or nanny. I keep a clean home and legit never ask him for much except to tidy his own stuff he leaves everywhere and every once in a while do dishes. He doesn't do half the things he should with the kids like baths, meals, or even stocking a diaper bag or packing a vehicle to leave. He thinks his only responsibility is ever just himself.

I'm mad I'm fed up and I'm over it. Family and friends have pointed it out and it's embarrassing at this point. He keeps asking if I'm going to divorce him and leave him because he knows how used I feel yet nothing ever changes.

We communicate that isn't the issue. I just married a man who's mom did his laundry and cleaned his home and made his meals even when he moved out on his own and he is incapable of treating me like a wife.