My fiance and I have been on a break for 5 1/2 months.

I went back to work after being sahm and told him I expected him to take half of the housework back. He didn’t and he has what I think is a laziness and lack of discipline with waking up and is late to work 3 times a week at least. I also have more death than normal in my life at least 1 or 2 people a year. This year it was two my 16 baby cousin and a few weeks later my great aunt both I was close to. And he hasn’t really had any death he was close to so he just ignores me and leaves me to mourn by myself.

We had been talking about all that for a while but my breaking point was when I had to work my weekend and I came home one day after getting a ride bc he wasn’t there to pick me up and he was sleeping with our son crying in the crib at 7pm. He had put him down for a nap at 1 pm and slept the rest of the day while our son cried in there with no toys water lunch or diaper changes.i work 3 twelve hour shifts a week and am the primary parent. I work every other weekend and that’s the only time he is home alone with him all day. 4 times a month. I am with him 4 times a week and that’s never happened to me. I feel like that’s straight child neglect and makes me want to literally punch him in the face. But I’m a ftm and maybe this stuff happens and it’s shitty but normal?

I obviously freaked the hell out and said I’m done we are going on a break and you don’t have that long to get you shit together before I leave your ass. He cried said sorry and we’ve had a talk every month since abt nothing changing. So this month I had something tragic at work (assisted living) happen and I’ve been pretty messed up abt it and again he ignored it. I got really upset said I didn’t want to do this anymore and all that he cried said he was so sorry like I’ve heard every other time.

I’m kinda eh abt it all. I want what’s best for my son. I could get back to love eventually bc he is my best friend and if that’s what’s good for my son I can do that. But I could also leave and we’d still be best friends ofc after a few months of not talking unless it’s abt our son and healing ourselves. I don’t hate him at this point I just want it to be over either he gets it together and we’re together and it’s over or he doesn’t and I leave and it’s over. I really don’t care either way. I just want my son to be happy and knowing he is so loved.

So sorry for the long post I feel like there is so much and more I didn’t say I just don’t know what to do. Please advice and what would you do?