Am I the a$$hole?

So I have come to realize many times in my marriage that I am not perfect and there are times I may think I am being “fair” and I am not. So I need your help … am I being the asshole here:

My husband sprung it on me last week that NEXT week his best friend from out of state is flying in on Thursday and staying until Wednesday 😮‍💨

He never once ran it across me. And the big kicker is that his friend will be here on our 12th anniversary 😭. So obviously I am very very bitter that my husband chose his friend over our marriage that weekend.

I figured to keep my mind off of it I will take my kids to a fun adventure park and apple orchard and figured we would stay the night in a hotel.

My husband asked me if I am getting out of work early on Friday to pick the kids up from school. I told him no, that it was not on my radar so I did not take time off work. He never asked, he will have the whole day off that day, and he usually picks them up on Fridays.

My husband is PISSED!!! He is so angry that I am being selfish when his friend paid hundreds of dollars to come out here and he has to put his plans on pause to pick up the kids. Their plans are to drink alcohol and watch football.

He feels that I am not being fair because the last week in September I am flying to go see my grandparents for 4 days. They are both declining fast and I fear my grandpa won’t be with us next year. Well since I am taking 4 days off that’s 4 days my husband has full responsibility with the kids with no help from me.

Am I being the asshole?