Ever since I was little I always dreamed of being with someone for the rest of my life. Growing old with him and just being so happy and in love together. I thought I found that when I met my kids father, we stayed together for 8 years but it was so toxic. But yet I still loved him sooo much. I ended up finally leaving their father after finding out he was cheating on me when I was pregnant with our last kid. Now I’ve been single and alone for a year and a half. I try to make the best of it, I try to focus on my kids 99% of the time, but then there’s times when I just cry. This isn’t the life I pictured for myself. Not the life I wanted. I’m tired of being alone, yes I know I have my kids but who do I have when they’re asleep at night. I don’t get to share my day with anyone, I don’t get to cuddle up on the couch after a long day with someone. I’m just so lonely. I have a friends with benefits but he’s simply just that. I don’t think anything will ever come of it even though I do like him. I’m just so sad. I push myself to better myself for me and my kids and I do so good most of the time but days like today I just wish I had someone who loves me, and wants to be with me.